The day of love is right around the corner. It’s a wonderful time to celebrate the people we care about - romantically and otherwise - but as with any holiday, Valentine’s Day can pose certain challenges to those on the autism spectrum. Thriving on routine and predictability, autistic children can often struggle with holiday festivities and schedule changes. Fortunately, with some careful planning, you can make sure Valentine’s Day is a special day for your little one while also keeping them comfortable. Bloom Behavioral Healthcare LLC is happy to pass on these helpful tips for creating a sensory friendly holiday.
Preparation Is Key
Valentine’s Day may not come with as much fanfare as Christmas or Halloween, but it can still cause a disruption in the life of your autistic child. Schools and daycares often celebrate with special parties and events that disrupt the typical daily schedule. Knowing an event is coming up can help your child mentally prepare for the change in routine. If you have a family calendar, be sure to include Valentine’s Day and related events as needed. Additionally, creating a visual schedule for the day of said events can help set expectations ahead of time. Use photos, symbols and/or written instructions to describe the planned activities for the day. Go over the schedule together in advance while allowing questions or concerns to be addressed leading up to the holidays.
Take Sensory & Social Needs To Heart
When planning for a Valentine’s Day celebration, keep your child’s sensory needs in mind. Specific needs can vary, but some considerations include:
• Colors - Opt for soft pastel colored decor over bright reds and hot pinks.
• Lights - Choose candles or soft lighting of strobe effects or twinkling lights.
• Activities- Plan sensory-friendly activities that are both fun and familiar for your child.
Of course, not every aspect of planning is in your control since many holiday celebrations may take place within a school or daycare environment. In that case, consider reaching out to your child’s teacher to discuss ways to better accommodate your child’s needs. If possible, volunteering as a party helper can allow you to provide or suggest activities and snacks that are more sensory-friendly.
Valentine’s Day can also create new and confusing social interactions for autistic children also. You can prepare by:
Explaining the concept of valentine card exchanges at home, perhaps even practicing amongst your family.
Create a social story or role play game that helps explain the giving and receiving of Valentine’s Day cards and gifts.
Discuss with your child the various ways people may express love and affection. Many people with autism struggle with social expectations on top of their sensory aversions, and may react poorly to excessive hugging or touching. Explain alternative ways to greet others or express friendliness, such as a high five, hand shake or a wave.
Allow your child to opt out of anything that makes them uncomfortable or overstimulated. Discuss this expectation with the school or daycare in advance as well to avoid any unnecessary discomfort.
Autism Friendly Alternatives To Enjoy Valentine’s Day
Of course, not all Valentine celebrations take place at school or daycare. Celebrate in whatever way makes the most sense for your family - even if that means doing nothing at all! Celebrating at home makes it easier to adapt traditional ideas to create a more controlled event that meets your child’s needs. Ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day at home with your family:
Sensory-Friendly Activities: Skip loud, chaotic events and instead plan for simple, sensory-friendly activities. Create a Valentine’s themed sensory bin, create love themed crafts using soft, child-approved materials, or organize a quiet movie night.
Child Specific Treats: Valentine’s Day is synonymous with chocolate and sweets, however the food aversions, sensory issues and dietary needs that often come along with autism can take that off the table. Find alternatives that match your child’s preferences, whether that be heart-shaped fruit, a special yogurt parfait, or a special gift (think fidget toys or a weighted blanket) instead of a pile of candy.
Show Love Their Way: People with autism can struggle to recognize or express emotions in a traditional way, but it’s important to understand that they do in fact feel them. Encourage your child to show love, affection and appreciation for others in ways that feel safe and natural to them. ABA Therapy can help autistic children understand their feelings while recognizing the ways they best express them. For example, instead of showing love through verbalization or physical touch, they may choose instead to draw a homemade Valentine’s Day card or help a family member with a task. It’s highly important to meet them where they are and let them know their autonomy is important.
Bring The Calm: Whether in a public space or at home, having a designated area for your child to retreat to in times of dysregulation is extremely helpful. Set up a cozy space in another room if possible with comfort items, noise-canceling headphones and a relaxing activity.
Show Love Through Understanding and Acceptance
Valentine’s Day is about love and connection. There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate those things, especially when it comes to inclusivity and emotional regulation for children with autism. Through understanding and preparation, you can ensure a positive and meaningful holiday for your child, allowing them to show up and participate in their own way. Creating an environment where your little one feels safe, comfortable and accepted as they are is the greatest gift of love you can give.
It can be challenging to get to a place where you understand your autistic child’s needs, strengths and triggers. ABA Therapy can help families recognize these things, and work together to create a more structured, streamlined lifestyle that stabilizes emotions and builds a personalized path forward. Don’t be discouraged if you’re not there yet - the most important thing is continuing to show your child that you love them for who they are right now.
If you are looking for help finding the right tools for your autistic child and your family, contact Bloom Behavioral Healthcare today for more information.
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