It’s no secret that life with an autism diagnosis comes with a unique set of challenges. Often, those challenges can be mitigated through services like ABA Therapy, discovering personal triggers, positive reinforcement and consistent routines. Through consistency, daily life at home and school can come easier to those with autism. But, what happens with the day to day structure that your child is used to suddenly changes?
HOLIDAYS BRING OVERSTIMULATION AND DISCOMFORT TO THOSE ON THE SPECTRUM
The holidays are a fun and joyful time for most, but for those on the autism spectrum it can feel like their world is being rocked. This dysregulation can be caused by:
Daily Schedules Thrown Off: First off, the day to day schedule automatically changes due to holiday breaks from school if your child attends. Throw in holiday gatherings, community events, and family traditions - it’s a disorienting time for someone used to functioning on a predictable timeline.
Bright Lights and Music: Bright lights and loud music can easily be avoided at home, but it’s hard to miss once you venture out. Too many new sights and sounds at once can be extremely overstimulating to those on the autism spectrum.
New Places (Travel, Family Homes, etc.): Excess time in the car, walking into homes that are new to them, visiting stores or other locations unknown can all cause a disruption to the nervous system.
Excess Sugar: Try as you might, it’s hard to avoid extra sweets during the holiday season. Sometimes a little extra sugar is no big deal, but for those with autism or commonly co-existing conditions like ADHD, it can lead to mood swings, hyperactivity or irritability.
New or Unfamiliar People: There’s comfort in the familiar, but often the holidays come with a bevy of new or unfamiliar faces. Your child may have met their great aunt 8 times before, but if they aren’t someone they see or interact with on a regular basis, they aren’t going to necessarily be jumping with joy to see them now.
In short, the holidays create a perfect storm of situations and opportunities for overstimulation and dysregulation for autistic individuals. You can make the holidays easier for your child - and yourself - by planning accordingly, and in advance, to lessen the negative effects. It’s important to understand:
You aren’t obligated to participate in anything you don’t feel comfortable participating in. The only obligation you have is to your child, yourself and your own family. Choose activities that feel right for your situation, and enjoy the moments of holiday joy that work for you.
It’s okay to adjust expectations. Maybe you thought an event would go okay, but you quickly find out that it’s too much for your child. It’s okay to pause, assess and redirect. It will show your child their needs are important and recognized, and it will show them it’s possible to exist in a way that works for them.
You can create your own traditions. Holidays are big on traditions, but the best part is - you can create those traditions however you want! For example, if your town puts on a big Christmas parade but you know the music and loud cars will stress your child out, you can find an alternative. Find a live stream, ask a friend to FaceTime from the parade. Pop some popcorn and snuggle up to watch from home.
You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s okay to make decisions for your family that others don’t understand. If you get exhausted trying to explain yourself, simply don’t do it.
Humans as a species are naturally curious, and those close to you may feel particularly entitled to their own personal Q&A when it comes to your family. Many people don’t fully understand the complexities of autism, and therefore can get pushy when it comes to your child - commenting on behavior, forcing physical contact like hugs, serving them food they won’t eat, and so on. For those anticipating these situations through the holidays, here are some ideas on how to navigate outsider input:
Lead with Empathy: Most people mean no harm and truly do not understand autism and all of its intricacies. Questions may be coming from curiosity or concern. Assume the best and if you’re up to it, educate them on the specifics.
Set Clear Expectations Ahead of Time: Consider spending out a communication ahead of time to family or friends where you’re going to let them know of specific, important boundaries. You can say something like, “We’re working on sensory issues right now, so instead of hugs we’re going to try a high-five or handshake.”
Prepare In Advance: Prepare yourself for the inevitable questions and comments by coming up with pre-determined responses that cut to the point. Already knowing what you want to say will help you stay calm and confident in the moment. Practice statements like “Every child learns differently, and this is what’s working best for us right now.”
Involve & Empower Your Child: If your child is old and/or aware enough to understand, talk to them ahead of time on how you plan to deal with the situation if it comes up. For example, if you anticipate a comment about their food choices, let them know you will step in. For example, “I know Aunt Judy sometimes asks why you’re not eating something, but I’ll let her know that it’s okay and you’re doing great making your own food choices.” Educate Compassionately: If the moment and person allow for it, these instances can be a good teaching moment. Educating through conversation instead of confrontation can open up meaningful discussion that can help people understand your dynamic better.
Redirect: It’s unfortunate, but some people don’t get the hint at times. Hurtful comments can be redirected calmly but firmly with things like, “We don’t use words like that. Let me explain what’s happening right now.” Or “How you’re reacting isn’t helpful. Would you like to understand more?”
Set Firm Boundaries: Even the most well-intentioned family members can cross the line at times. Advice can be helpful, but when it becomes pushy or incessant, you have the right to shut it down with things like, “We appreciate your advice, but we’re confident in the approach we’re using.” Or “This is what works for us, so we’re going to stick with it.”
Have An Exit Strategy: Plan in advance with your partner or family on what to do if the event becomes too overwhelming. Bring comfort items or activities to implement if needed, but understand that an early exit may be what’s needed.
Follow Up: Family members can cross the line at times, and it can feel uncomfortable or confrontational to call them on it. It’s okay to address it privately after or away from the gathering. Reach out later to discuss what happened, the reason for your decisions and if they are open to learning how to better support your child and family in the way that’s needed.
Be Positive: Share moments of progress with family members to shift the narrative to a positive one. Not only will it give them a better insight into the unique journey your family is on, but it will help instill a sense of pride and accomplishment within your child.
ABA THERAPY TECHNIQUES CAN HELP REGULATE CHILDREN WITH AUTISM
Despite the unique challenges the holidays present to those on the autism spectrum, it can still be a joyful time for all. ABA Therapy offered by Bloom Behavioral Healthcare can help your family perfect the tools needed to live a more regulated and fulfilling life. Through ABA centered approaches, planning ahead and holding firm to your family’s boundaries, you can ensure a holly, jolly Christmas this year.
If you’re looking for an ABA therapist in the Kansas City area, contact Bloom today for more information!
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